Beware of false prophets wearing flannel.
No so long ago in a continuously distorted galaxy far, far away…
OR IS IT?
Our worst fears are realized…
| “ | When asked about the changes Lucas made 2 the #StarWarsBluRay ,
The Ewoks answered “We just couldn’t believe our eyes!” |
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| “ | George Lucas needs to lose custody of the Star Wars films. He’s like a parent botoxing his kids. |
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| “ | UPDATE: George Lucas is changing the ending of “Citizen Kane” so that Darth Vader is a sled. |
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| “ | The real reason why Darth Vader screams No in the new version of Return of the Jedi is b/c he just watched the Star Wars Trilogy on Blu-Ray |
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| “ | George Lucas maintains consistency across the Star Wars brand by slowly making the original trilogy as bad as the prequels. #RetroShitting |
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 | George Lucas offers a compelling argument against George Lucas Surrounded by growing hordes of cold-hearted, computer-wielding opportunists eager to digitally alter classic films, indulge their modern whims, and reap ill-gotten profits, a rebel filmmaker stood before Congress in 1988 and argued that the madness must stop: “People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians,” he said, his voice no doubt taking on an emotional, Jimmy Stewart-like quaver. |
| “ | wish James Earl Jones had said no rather than Darth Vader #StarWarsBluRay |
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| “ | New use case for Twitter: Telling me that George Lucas is up to something no good. I think I like weather reports better. |
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| “ | #starwarsbluray #starwars These are no longer the droids you were looking for… |
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| “ | What were the technical limitations in 1983 that prevented George Lucas from adding “Noooo!” to the end of Return of the Jedi? |
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| “ | George Lucas can make Ewoks blink, but can he make Anakin more lifelike? #StarWars |
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| “ | I hope they don’t reveal that I command better pantsless on the #starwarsbluray |
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| “ | Homer Simpson will make a cameo appearence as Anakins long lost brother
#Starwarsbluray |
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| “ | George Lucas replaced my cats with ewoks. |
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| “ | “Show me on The Blu Rays where George Lucas hurt you.” |
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| “ | Someone needs to throw George Lucas into a Sarlac pit. |
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| “ | Why doesn’t George Lucas fuck with “Howard the Duck” and leave Star Wars the Hell alone? |
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| “ | People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians.” George Lucas, 1988 |
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| “ | George Lucas, you’re breaking my heart! You’re going down a path I can’t follow! |
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| “ | Ever wondered what OB1 sounds like getting a Hummer? Thx George Lucas for once again slapping fans in the face http://t.co/n7Utw0v |
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| “ | By popular demand, George Lucas replaced Jar Jar Binks with Ben Quadinaros. #StarWarsBluRay #Rumors |
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| “ | Hey george lucas.instead of changing jedi…again…why dont you change the prequels so the become watchable?….dick. |
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| “ | If George Lucas continues to change Star Wars at this rate in the year 2028 it will just become Spaceballs. |
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| “ | In the new Blu Ray version of Star Wars,George Lucas has Han Solo flying in a Prius.. |
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| “ | Vader misses Luke’s hand, clips fingernails instead, then says, “Luke. I am your mailman.” #EmpireBlurayChanges |
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| “ | The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world George Lucas is a good filmmaker #TheUsualJedis |
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| “ | Want to make changes to Star Wars, George Lucas? Do something about Jar Jar Binks! #ThingsWeNeedToChange |
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| “ | George Lucas, will you buy us dinner? Because your fans like to be wined and dined before they get FUCKED!!!!! |
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| “ | Lucas has removed Chewbacca from all the films and replaced him with The Gimp. #starwarsbluray |
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| “ | Spielberg & Coppola need to stage an intervention… #StarWarsBluRay |
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| “ | I guess we should just be happy that Vader doesn’t shout “YIPPEE!” when he throws the Emporer down. #StarWarsBluRay |
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| “ | #georgelucas is editing his own appearance using CGI to make his beard darker and to give himself a neck #StarWarsBluRay |
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| “ | I imagine that George Lucas would be a real cunt of a wikipedia editor. #starwarsbluray |
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| “ | Contrast this with how F.F. Coppola tweaked Apocalypse Now, or how Ridley Scott did Blade Runner. #starwarsbluray |
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| “ | Make sure to bring your Kleenex for the heartbreaking new Chewbacca Shaves sequence. #StarWarsBluRay |
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| “ | May the force be with you… … …for me to poop on #StarWarsBluRay |
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| “ | Han Solo to be played by a digitally inserted, de-aged Christopher Walken #StarWarsBluRay |
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| “ | “I can destroy a film franchise faster than the Millenium Falcon made the Kessel Run, which as you know…” -GL #starwars |
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| “ | I want an Ewok to dampen my fall in the #starwarsbluray. Make it happen, George. Oh and mute my scream. |
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| “ | When Darth Vader takes a call from the Emperor he no longer sees an image of Darth Sidious but is instead Rick Rolled #starwarsblurayrumours |
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“How do you feel about a dance number right before the decapitation scene?”
| “ | Message to George Lucas, we don’t really need more changes to #StarWars. Honestly we don’t. Or as Vader now says at the end of Jedi, “Nooo!” |
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| “ | @Jickle Jabba The Hut is digitally replaced by George Lucas with a CGI tail #starwarsblurayrumours |
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| “ | Maybe George Lucas’s plan is to jack up the value of existing SW DVDs by making all newly-produced copies unwatchable. |
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| “ | Always loved Vader’s wordless self sacrifice. Another shitty, clueless, revision like Greedo and young Anakin’s ghost. What a fucking shame. |
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| “ | I wonder if George Lucas will ever replace himself with CGI. He should do. He’s a muppet. |
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| “ | Can’t believe it still bothers me. It’s like getting upset because a dead relative’s corpse has rotted a bit more. |
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| “ | What has Star Wars fans all freaked out this time? Well, a slight tweak to the Ewoks, plus a dialogue change that you wouldn’t think would be all that big of a deal, but in fact, it has set a tiny segment of the internet ablaze. |
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| “ | George Lucas has truly ruined Star Wars for the world |
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This is actually a welcome addition to the new blu-ray collection…
| “ | People should stop saying that George Lucas ‘raped their childhood’. At worst it was an aggressive molestation. |
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| “ | I heard that George Lucas use the original negatives to the first three Star Wars films as wrapping material for his kids’ presents. |
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| “ | STAR WARS LIKE NIGHT OUT DRINKING! JUST WHEN DRUNK HULK THINK REMEMBER EVERYTHING! THERE MORE NEW SCENE! |
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| “ | Fuck you George Lucas. And fuck your blu-ray releases. Stop fucking with the original movies you fat ewok bitch! |
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| “ | If I ever become a filmmaker like George Lucas, assassinate me. Please |
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| “ | George Lucas film improvement system. Are there aliens? Yes: add more. No: add them. |
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| “ | getting George Lucas to digitally remove me from my childhood so I don’t have to see him screwing up Star Wars. A CGI rock will replace me. |
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| “ | George Lucas has altered the films… pray he doesn’t alter them further. |
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| “ | Dear George Lucas, Did you think MJ’s face got *better* with every subsequent surgery? YES? Okay, everything you do makes more sense now. |
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| “ | This might be uncharitable, but sometimes I wish I lived in the parallel universe where George Lucas died after making Return of the Jedi. |
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| “ | Creative types: Whenever you worry about that one thing you wish you had added to your finished piece, think of George Lucas. |
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| “ | I am actually impressed that George Lucas has (potentially) ruined Star Wars even more |
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| “ | Dear George Lucas, you’ve already made everyone hate Star Wars enough. You can stop now. |
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| “ | I never understood why Vader threw Darth Sidious to his death, but now that Lucas has added a “NOOOO!” it is clear that he is disapproving. |
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| “ | In the new Blu Ray version of Star Wars, George Lucas actually has Han and Greedo settle their differences with a game of Parcheesi. |
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| “ | I promised I wasn’t going to fume about George Lucas any more. I promised I wasn’t going to fume about George Lucas any more. I promised I.. |
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| “ | “Hey! I don’t remember all those CGI space-dudes at the reception!”—George Lucas’s wife re-watching their old wedding vids. |
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BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
 | Compare the New CGI Yoda in ‘The Phantom Menace’ With the Original Version | /Film We’re so far beyond the point where complaining about George Lucas making changes to Star Wars is actually an expression of surprise or outrage. It’s just a ritual. We expect him to change things around every time the films hit a new format, so much so that I think there would be more genuine surprise expressed if the saga hit Blu-ray and didn’t feature any new alterations. |
YODA WITH FRANK OZ’S HAND:
CGI YODA:
REMIX!
The End
(until the next George Lucas travesty)
